he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
