why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
