SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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