Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
