i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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