This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
