Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
