i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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