I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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