What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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