Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
