He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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