finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
zippers are such a cool invention
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
