I just pynch a tree in the face
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
