dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
