My room smells like vodka and shame
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
