Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
