Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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