Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize