found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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