u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Randomize
