I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
birth control should be required to get into college
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
