I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
