i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
