some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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