Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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