the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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