If that was your dad, he is hot
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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