he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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