Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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