The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
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