Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize