I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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