to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
