Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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