I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
