i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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