people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
