Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have already put on my inside pants.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
