I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
