FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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