yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
