I heard we made out
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
