I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my sisters under your porch take her home
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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