I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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