and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
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