Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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