you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
