We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
