After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
