in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
