My room smells like vodka and shame
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
