I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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