Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
