Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
