She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
