Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Randomize
